I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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