The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize