Can Purell be used as lube?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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