ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
