Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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