she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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