Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
