My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
