Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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