Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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