people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
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Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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