I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
