he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
