Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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