My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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