Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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