He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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