I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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