i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
