508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
