Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
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You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
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As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize