Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
