How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
