Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
