You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
