i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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