Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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