I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
