Your dad touched me again.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
