How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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