I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
