Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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