We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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