I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
