Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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