Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
