I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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