barbara walters just said penis...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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