I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
