The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize