***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She bit a glass in half.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
