like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
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Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
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She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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