I bet he comes in French.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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