dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
