i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
