I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
