its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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