I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
