Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!