I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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