Can i not drive my cunt home
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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