Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
