DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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