Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
