Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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