is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
