I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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