I'm drive I can fine osifer
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize