What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
